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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Sunday, February 26, 2012, 8:37 PM
Let me in, unlock the door, I've never felt this way before
and I mean it this time.
Young night and tempered skies, smell of booze and secret eyes. Light touch of delicate fingers between each fold, crisp and cold. Whispers of nothing, nose deep in hair. Might mean something, deep breath of air. Kiss of the neck and question asked, oh safe shoulder, how to react? Same mood tonight tomorrow, next week, next month. Been so long since I had this much. Jade eyes consuming me, touch of hips intoxicating. Short moment, is it real? Is this even legal to feel? Graceful kiss, touching ever so. Never thought you would show. Tug of the lips, don't leave. Scared, shaking, come back to me. Sudden regret, eyes closed shut. A feeling of victory somewhat. Only seconds, to last for years. Is that your voice that I hear? Goosebumps through my spine, yearning whisper, aching whine. Heartache, feeling never felt before. Anything done to feel that once more. Your smile, so beautifully shy. Gone in the blink of an eye.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012, 8:55 PM
Parting of the sensory
I've been so busy lately, it's driving me crazy. My senior project, also known as the Capstone Project, has been absolutely killing me. x__x It's a freaking research paper on steroids. I've filled out so many forms, and I have to present a speech. I'm really not good at public speaking, it makes me extremely nervous. I haven't had to ever do anything like this ever. I have to make eye contact with the audience and act all confident. I'm really not good at that, at ALL. Other schoolwork as been swamping me as well, and it's really hurting me. Algebra II is so hard, and it's so hard to keep up with everything. I really want to graduate though so I'm putting forth an effort.
I took my availability off for Sundays at Sonic, and they put me on the schedule for Sunday this week... WTF SONIC?! I work 4-close on Saturdays now, so it's gonna be harder to see Bo. I'm gonna have to go over there on Fridays and get dropped off before work/at work. I'm just gonna tough it out, work this Sunday since I need more money anyways, but put in another request to NOT WORK ANYMORE SUNDAYS.... -____- I barely get enough sleep during the week, I don't need to be working until midnight on Saturdays then waking up to do it all over again at 9 on Sunday. Lolol. But just this week, I'll do it. I need more weekday hours, it's ridiculous for them to only work me on Tuesdays..
There have been so many guys hitting on me lately. SO. MANY. GUYS. HITTING. ON. ME!!! It's starting to get annoying, and it's starting to get to Bo, too. I don't know why I'm desirable all of a sudden, but it's really odd. Guys seem to chase after taken girls more than single ones. Oh well, I guess it's a "want what you can't have" type of situation. What I have with Bo is really powerful, I'm not ready to give it up over a [very slim] chance of something better.
John is having an effect on me. I just wanna be close with him. Maybe it's because Chandler is in the Air Force and I really miss him, and John is about to leave as well so I want to see his fresh2death self as much as I possibly can before he leaves for the Navy. John is the best person I've met in a long time.
Well, I'm running dry on thoughts. I'll write more later.
