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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Wednesday, March 3, 2010, 2:48 PM
miércoles.
esta semana es muy mal. estoy cansada, triste, y mal generalmente.... ¿por qué es cada día de esta manera últimamente? no sé esto. yo no gustaría esto. no me importa. tengo una mala semana. una día cada semana. no me importa. o, que me importa, pero que es familiar. mi hermana es la puta. mi papá es estupido. ¿adónde ir aquí? yo gustaría herir donde más duele. yo duele más que vosotros. yo duele más que tú. yo duele, generalmente. estoy cansada de duele. estoy cansada, generalmente....
de todos modos.... mi novio es enfermo. es triste. lo siento mucho, pero no te puedo ayudar. y, mi familia es agobiante. demasiada luchas, con mi familia y con mi novio también. no se verdadero luchas, pero todavía, muy agobiante. ay, qué pena.
yo necesito dormir.
adiós.
Monday, March 1, 2010, 8:11 PM
Instinctive defenses.
Today, my animal instincts for defense came in handy > :3
I will never understand cheating. Or being boy/girl crazy. I've never been there so I wouldn't know. Even in my early days of puberty I still wasn't boy crazy. I had a lot of crushes, but not because of looks. I wanted to be loved, even at an early age. It's weird. I'm not saying I'm "smart" or "perceived more" when I was little, I just.. wasn't interested in anything like that, ever. I'm not a normal teenager, I know. XD
Anyways. This bitch Dakota who has [or, HAD now, thanks to Bo ^_^] a boyfriend named Alec, and just screwed him the other day, tells Bo she wants to cheat on Alec. And Bo's just like, "Okay." Dakota says, "You don't wanna ask any more questions?" he says, "Do you want me to?" and of course, she does. So he asks who. She says "Too many to name." And so Bo asks if he's one of them, considering that's basically what she was hinting at. [Whoever wouldn't catch that hint is stupid.] She says yes. Bo immediately tells me. She keeps telling him "they won't find out" blah blah blah. Bo tells Alec. Alec dumps her, and she gets all angry at Bo, goes to Alec's house and begs him, but it don't work and he kicks that bitch outta the picture. We win, yay! Then I text her and tell her off. :D
I hate cheating bitches. Seriously. I hate cheating ANYBODY. Bitches or bruhs. You all need to get a life.... seriously. People think it's so cool to cheat, but since when is harming others, keeping secrets, and lying, anything cool? It just shows you're a pussy and can't handle being faithful.
Besides that, nothing's been going on. I'm hoping not to worry from now on but I'm not gonna brag and jinx it. I've had a few encounters with people I hate but I think they're gone. I've been thinking about the past a lot. But it's nothing important now. Everyone takes a trip down memory lane every once in awhile.
Things in the past that ruined who I am today, I'm starting to forget. I've handled situations today in which I had to turn back on it and look at it. I don't know why I handled things the way I did back then. I was jealous, controlling, and insecure. [Well, I had a reason to be.] That side of me almost came back out again today. But I didn't let it. If I'm going to improve myself and make the people around me more comfortable with who I am so I can be at ease, I've gotta get over all that. I'm trying to work on myself. but right now I just wanna relax and enjoy the time I have not being stressed. Okay, well, I am stressed, about school, but that's not my fault, our teachers just can't do their fucking job.
That is all for now. Time to go get some chips :DD
