Tuesday, January 19, 2010, 7:45 PM
contentment

Over the past couple of weeks since I've written I've done a lot and yet so little at the same time. I've been feeling weird, like I'm changing. I'm not happy with a lot in my life and yet I feel like I have a lot locked in and set. I'm not going to get my hopes on and get my heart set just quite yet though. I still have a pretty long ways to go after all. Hoping for so long will only make it worse if they get crushed.
I've been thinking back a lot and I've been able to see from other people's shoes more easily. I've actually been having long, deep conversations with my boyfriend which I haven't been able to do in a long time. He's actually warming up to me and I'm so happy.
.... *knock on wood* lol (:
People whom I never want to see again have been apologizing to me. AKA my ex boyfriend. I don't really like it. I don't like getting apologizes long after I've decided I'll never forgive them. It makes me feel terrible and just annoys me. It's a waste of time and thought. I don't like having to argue points with people when I've argued that same point countless times. Honestly. When is everyone going to leave me alone about him? Seriously. I'm tired of hearing about him, I'm tired of hearing his name. And now he's saying if I ever need to leave I can stay at his house. HAHAHA. In his dreams.
I've argued with people a lot lately. I've been in a really weird state of mind but at the same time I've been really content. Like, I haven't really had anything to be scared of or worried about. Just things to be annoyed at I guess. It's good to just be going along smoothly with everything for once, despite how boring it's been getting lately. I miss hanging out with my friends, a lot. But half of them are grounded XD
I went to Nashville with Bo a couple of weekends ago. It was really cold, and snowing, and I had a pretty good time. I stayed at his house for awhile afterwards, and we watched A Knight's Tale. His mom actually likes me now. It makes me ecstatic that we finally got past all of the pointless hatred and awkwardness. We went to Incredible Pizza for my niece's 6th birthday party this past Saturday, and I swear his mom and my parents talked for hours. I love it. I'm glad that obstacle in my life is out of the way.
.... *knock on wood again* XD
Bo might be going to Job Corps. I'm kind of worried. I hope the distance won't affect us at all. He says it won't, but he's still worried about it. Meh. Paranoia, gets the best of us all. Especially me. lmao.
I'd totally go to Job Corps, but they don't have an art program. They pay you like 40 or 50 dollars every two weeks, and when you graduate they pay you $1200. It's INSANE! It's like working and learning all at the same time. And you have dorm rooms too! It's like college for high school students XD My parents wouldn't go for it though. I guess I'm stuck at Cordova Shithole until I graduate. T___T A sad day for me. haha.
Anyways I guess that's all. Catchyelater. <3

Sunday, January 3, 2010, 9:55 PM
2009 survey. a survey on blogger? weird xD
Months of 2009:
January:
Did you have a new year's resolution?
i was too perplexed on new years to remember to make one.
Does it snow where you live?
not really, but it did a lot that year.
Do you like hot chocolate?
yes!
Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
nope.
February:
Who was your Valentine?
patrick. egh.
When you were little did you buy Valentine's for the whole class?
hahaha, yeah.
Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not?
nope.
What did you get for Valentines?
a dog and a box of chocolates.... that I went WITH patrick to buy. horrible isn't it? he forgot my present, so made me go with him and PICK IT OUT. ugh. i hate him.
March:
Are you Irish?
yessss.
Do you wear green every year on St. Patrick's Day?
no. XD
What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2009?
i don't remember.
Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
oh yeah. it's so cold.
April:
Do you like the rain?
sometimes.
Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year?
not that I can remember.
Do you celebrate 4/20?
hell yesh. XD
May:
What is your favorite flower?
roses and lilacs and lillies and "dog" flowers XD
Is May anything special to you?
school ends! lol. besides that, nu.
June:
What did you do for Fathers Day?
don't remember.
Did you do anything fun during this month?
i had my 15th birthday :3
Have a favorite baseball team?
nope.
July:
What did you do on the 1st of July?
i was pondering....
Did you go to the fireworks?
i don't remember.
Do you tan in the day?
nah.
Anything special happen this month?
i broke up with patrick.... and got together with bo. <3
August:
Did you do anything fun to end the summer?
not that i remember. that summer was magical though.
What was your favorite memory of summer?
the hangouts with friends, the get togethers, getting closer to Bo in june, getting together with him in july.... amazing.
Any birthdays this month?
cheltzie and muah and my great grandmother.
September:
Were you attending school?
yep.
Do you like fall better than summer?
ehhhh. depends on my mood.
Anything special about September to you?
i hate september.
October:
What was your last Halloween costume?
i wasn't anyone in 2008. in 2009 i was a zombie :P and went to the where's waldo hunt! great day.
What is your favorite candy?
skittles, sprees, starburst, ouch gum.
What is your favorite thing about this month?
ehhh, i dunno.
November:
Who's house do you go to for Thanksgiving?
mine. i WAS gonna go to Sweetwater with Bo but I didn't get to.
What is your favorite thing about November?
the closeness i have with everyone. in 2009 i was really close to bo during thanksgiving, even though he was out of town. i loved it.
December:
Do you celebrate Christmas?
yes.
Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe?
nope.
Do you go to a formal this year?
nope.
- ------------------------------------ --------------------------------
2009: Your Love Life
Did you break up with anyone?
yeah, Patrick. thank GOD
Did you get anything for Valentine's Day?
yes. but i had to pick it out. -_-
Did you meet anyone special?
bo. i didn't particularly meet him in 2009, we MET in 2008, but.... we realized how much we care about each other.
2009: Friends and Enemies
Did you meet any new friends this year?
yep. momo! :D and a lot more. XD and i got really close to Josh which is awesome.
Did any of your friendships end?
yeah.
Did you dislike anyone?
oh yeah.
Did you make any new enemies?
yep.
Did you resolve any fights?
eh. resolved it then got right back into it. lol.
Who were your closest friends?
josh, bo, mari, momo, cheltzie, kari, eric.
Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
yeah.
2009: Your BIRTHDAY!
Did you have a cake?
i don't think so. lol. most of my birthday present was MTAC.
What did you do for your birthday?
hung out with josh, bo, eric, ashley, cheltzie, and patrick.
What was the best thing you got?
a guitar from bo. <3
2009: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year?
yeah, in good ways and bad.
Did you get your hair cut?
yep. chopped it all off. XD
Did you change your style?
i decided to stop trying to look "cool" and just look how I wanna look.
Were you in school?
yes.
Did you get good grades?
at first. until i met patrick. lol.
Did you move at all?
nope.
Did you go on any vacations?
yes. was the most AMAZING vacation in the entire world, the time of my life, and i will never ever forget it.
Did you leave the country at all?
nope.
2009: Wrap Up
Is 2009 a good year?
mmmm.... more bad than good. but there were PLENTY of good moments.
Do you think 2010 will top 2009?
lets hope so.
If you could relive any moment which would you choose?
Orange Beach. hands down.
I confess that in 2009 I...
( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
(x) celebrated halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) mooned someone
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under a mistletoe
In 2009 I...
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
(x) kissed under the stars
( ) kept your new year’s resolution
( ) forgot your new year’s resolution
(x) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
( ) left the country
( ) almost died
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up till sunrise
(x) cried over the silliest thing
( ) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
(almost XD) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people
With 2009 Coming To an End, Do This and BE HONEST !
1. Have you had any relationships this year?
two. i'm sticking with the one i have now.
2. Have you had your birthday yet?
yes.
3. Kissed two people in the same night?
nope. :3 got kissed by one while i had a boyfriend.. then left my boyfriend. sounds horrible but you'd understand if you heard the story.
4. Pulled an all nighter?
nope
5. Puked at all in 2009?
nope!! :'D
7. Went Camping?
not overnight, but I went to Chickasaw with fatrick.
8. Bought something(s)?
yes.
9. Died?
no XD wtf
10. Been out of the country?
nope.
12. What are you thinking about?
how weird it is that i'm looking forward to school.