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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Monday, May 21, 2012, 2:10 PM
This was unexpected.
When I first saw you I first noticed your strange [yet cool], long hair in Mr. Bourie's class in 9th grade. I thought you were gay and I liked your girlish frame, but I didn't think much more than that. I thought you were a little odd and self-righteous [which, you kind of were.] After 9th grade I didn't really consider you. Then, once I was a senior and we had English together we talked more. I always wondered why you would mess with my hair and stuff, but I still didn't really think much.
I never understood the hype over brown eyes until I was looking into yours. The room was black and the only light penetrating was the faint, orange glow of the light outside. I feel really strange, because your face was so passionate and intent but we barely know each other. You caressed me and stared at me like no one had before, even the person who I was with for the longest.
however... I just don't know if I feel that strongly for you.
Friday, May 18, 2012, 11:01 PM
Nothing can stop me...
I don't like confrontation and I'm pretty sure you don't either but this has to be done. You're sending me mixed messages and it's leaving me hopeless and confused. I mean you sat there and told me all these nice things and made me feel like I was something special. You don't tell a girl you're in love with her and expect her to treat it lightly. It's something you have to MEAN. And you've gotten me stupid over you, but the fact that sometimes you make it seem like I'm one of many and other times you act like I'm everything, makes me really confused. I'd like to know how you really feel so I can stop sitting and wondering every day. I mean really, you told me you loved me and acted like I was different and encouraged me to leave Bo, now that I have you seem to have changed your mind about me. I know I'm being silly, but you should have known you would have such an effect on me.
Monday, May 7, 2012, 9:40 PM
You have stolen all my senses
Everything is strange and unknown and I'm not sure of myself anymore. Your fucking beautiful green eyes have consumed me and gotten the best of me, now they're controlling me and making me do things I would never do. I have a fever in my soul. When I see you whisper graces to yourself I look down in shame. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to run around the world. Distance yourself from me and all I want is more and more. You're so far gone and you're making me yearn and you're pulling me and teasing me by my heartstrings. I love what you're doing to me and at the same time I wish you wouldn't. I think you're well aware of this too. are you playing me for a fucking fool? I wish you'd tell me what's in your heart.
I'm a fool in the first place for memorizing your face. It's embedded into my pencil and runs through my veins.
NOBODY HAS EVER MADE ME ACT LIKE THIS. what's going on?
