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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Wednesday, August 29, 2012, 12:09 PM
OMG
WHAT IN THE HELL MAKES YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO BE INCESTUAL?!?!
EWWWWWWWWWWWW
Monday, August 27, 2012, 1:45 PM
motherfucker
Right as I get you out of my life, someone brings you back into it.
Cool.
Sunday, August 19, 2012, 12:23 AM
I've fallen down so low
Thinking and thinking and thinking. That seems to be what this summer has been all about. Thinking and regretting. I've caused myself to be stuck in a bad position that will be really tough to get out of. However, I've started to formulate a plan.
Step 1: get a job. I'm going to go to the Sonic on Houston Levee tomorrow and HOPEFULLY I'll be able to start working there until I can find a real job. That will solve my money problem and my stuck-at-home-all-day problem. I was going to wait until the scabies was over but it's taking too long so I'm going for it anyways.
Step 2: learn to drive and get a license. Brandon has been taking me driving whenever we hang out so I'm learning pretty quickly. I'm gonna study the books soon as well, get my permit, and then get my license. That will help solve my social problems.
Step 3: SAVE SAVE SAVE and get my transcript and go to college. I've got to work work work and save save save so that when it's time for me to go to college I'm ready.
Step 4: get a full-time big girl job. Unfortunately I haven't thought this step over very well.
Step 5: GET A CAR, FIND A ROOMMATE AND MOVE OUT! This will be the final step. I'm hoping I'll be at this step within the next two years.
Now I'm gonna rant about stuff.
I talked to Cody today. Yeah, "talk" and "Cody" are in the SAME FREAKING SENTENCE. He didn't say much. His excuse was pathetic. "I just didn't see it working out." WHAT?? WHAT?!?!? It doesn't matter, though. I said what I wanted to say and I feel so much better. Now I feel apathetic about him. I realized that he just has way too much baggage and I'm better off without someone like that in my life. I feel sorry for him. But I'll still never forgive him for what he did. I can't ever associate with that guy again. lol
I think John has lost interest, as well. What a waste. It's my loss, though. I shouldn't have taken him for granted. I don't even know why I'm speaking so highly of him considering the way he talks to me sometimes, but I just see him as godly. <3
Tuesday, August 14, 2012, 11:48 PM
Depressed again
I saw Kari for the last time today before she moves away for college
and the fact that I won't see her again for a long time fills me with a loneliness I've never felt before. She has pretty much been my closest friend since 7th grade.
, 12:40 AM
oh hai I just wanted to say
I'M A WRECK WITHOUT YOU
Thursday, August 9, 2012, 11:07 PM
bgfsdfbsarbs
I'm tired of people asking me to have sex with them. I'm not a slut and I don't know what gives you the impression that I am.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012, 12:08 AM
Can't think of a title
John wrote me a poem. It was beautiful but it almost makes me angry because that poem is the only sweet thing he has ever done. He told me today I have no reason not to trust him... I have every reason not to trust him and I wish he would see that.
Bo got a car and I never thought I'd see the day. He's been asking me to hang out and I'm not sure if I should. All these boys just keep getting in the way of everything. Different people keep asking me to have sex with them. For some reason, everyone thinks I'm easy now. It's almost upsetting.
The upside to my whole life recently is that I get to see Josh tomorrow. I love him so much, he was my best friend last year and I can't wait to see him. Even though it will only be for a few hours. He's so sweet gentlemanly. You don't find guys like that these days. Every guy I run into plays me like a harp.
I've been doing better at forgetting Cody but I keep seeing his name everywhere and sometimes I even see him driving on the roads or I see his mom's car parked somewhere. I hate that her car is so easy to pick out. I wish I just wouldn't care anymore but I do, and I will for a while... Steven told me today he'll come back one day. I hope he never does because he's put me through enough.
My mom kicked me out last night. Granted it was only for a night it gave me time to read a book and think. I need to start taking action and getting on with my life so I don't become like my family. I went driving today and I'm going to continue to go driving. Brandon is teaching me and hopefully very soon I'll have my license and then I can get a job and get a car and go to college and move out. I really really really hope all of this becomes possible.
I don't even want a relationship I just want someone to loveeee that won't continually hurt me :( urhiuwfdhs
