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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Monday, May 30, 2011, 6:13 PM
Summer
Well, I'm officially done with Cordova.
yessssssssssssssssss
Work is all I have to do right now besides sit around. Considering all of my friends [who formerly told me they wanted to rekindle their friendships with me] are pieces of shit who don't know how to hold onto their word. I'll spend this summer making new friends. Fuck all those fake ass people who I wasted years on only to have my back stabbed in the end. :} I'm done being so nice and caring, if I'm pissed at someone, I'll let them know. And if someone doesn't like me that'll be their problem.
Goal for the summer: Dig into myself and find some personality.
Wish me luck? <3
Thursday, May 5, 2011, 12:51 PM
I hate Sonic.
You guys were new once too.
It has hardly been a month since I started working there, and they already expect me to be on the same level as them. It's my FIRST JOB. All of them have been working there for 3+ years so they know what they're doing. But Troy is going to hire 25 new people soon. So what's going to happen when all my coworkers start treating all the other newbies like shit? They're going to want to QUIT. It's ridiculous how they act. One time, I forgot to charge someone for cheese. 50 fucking cents. and they're like, "Wow Amy. Wow." and act like I just screwed up the whole business and made them lose all their money. It's hard to remember a stupid order board thingy with like 240+ buttons and 4893572893489 exceptions and 9823472875 possibilities to EVERY. SINGLE. ORDER. when you've only been working there for a total sum of hours of maybe like, 3 DAYS????? I get most of my orders right. like 98%. But if I get ONE messed up even a TINY bit, they flip out. I bust my ass trying to help them out and at least I don't do NOTHING. but none of it good enough for them. I don't fucking know everything yet.
Fuck. Cut me some SLACK.
Monday, May 2, 2011, 7:01 PM
it was a funny little thing
mondays, I've really grown to hate them. I usually have work [and I did today] and school is so exasperating.
today, my coworker asked me, "why are you so quiet? Are you always this quiet?" it made me realize how afraid I am of being social towards people I don't know. I'm awkward and I always end up embarrassing myself. My first impression on people usually isn't a good one. I wish I could be as open to people in person than I can behind this stupid keyboard. I have so much to say but none of it ever comes out. It's kind of always been this way for me. Oh well, I'm just shy. there's nothing wrong with me.
I'm becoming closer to people I hate lately and drifting from those I love. Why is this happening? I don't know. But it kind of bothers me sometimes. I miss having a best friend so much, I miss having someone to talk to all day and someone to make it feel like it's all worth getting up in the morning. I'm so lethargic lately. Having a job has made me grow up faster than I wanted to. [momo, your blog helped me realize that X_X] I don't know why friendships become so difficult with age and time.
Time to go eat a quesadilla.
