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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Friday, July 29, 2011, 6:54 PM
someone who hears
Let's face it
It will always be true
No matter what
My soul will always be drawn to you
After all this time
No matter how much I fight
The vision of your face
never seems to leave my mind's sight
I don't have to have you
I figured I never would
But I want us to be close like before
as we always should be forevermore.
, 12:39 AM
I won't let you down
seriously...
I'm sitting here at almost 3 am... only online cause I'm talking to you. You've always been an expert at keeping me awake..
silently, but surely
you play continuously in my head.
you don't exist half the time
you exist elsewhere instead
but your azure green eyes
and your elvish frame
the way your voice plays me,
surely, I'm to blame.
I never knew you,
but I desired to know
every cell of skin,
every smile you show.
You're so aberrant and fickle
a mystery through and through,
from your shoulders to your fingertips,
It seems I never knew.
My sign is drawn to yours,
two sides of a weight,
delicately in between
a certain date.
I wish to remember
exactly what it is
about those azure green eyes
that I always seem to miss.
Friday, July 22, 2011, 9:13 AM
Support your brother, sports brother
I'm sleepy....
I got back from being at Bo's yesterday. We didn't really do much but watch Fullmetal Alchemist or sleep. Tyler came over a couple of times, and we hung out with Mari and her friend one night, but besides that nothing happened. Not having Phillip and his car around is really boring. We have nothing to do. It's too hot to just hang out outside, and the pool at his apartments is really freakin' nasty...
I realized how old I'm getting, thanks to my tablet. [NOT ONE OF THESE but one of these. and actually mine looks exactly like that xD] I got it when I was 13.... 4 years ago. I was so happy and excited and it was the best thing I ever got. If it wasn't for my tablet, I wouldn't have gotten as much practice in and my art wouldn'tve blossomed like it did. But also because of my tablet, I ran out of ideas really quickly, because I drew 24/7. I don't wanna get older. I've lost my passion for drawing, [don't get me wrong, I constantly want to I just am idealess :c] I've lost a lot of my friends, I don't take pictures everywhere I go like I used to, and really everything is just lame. All I do is worry about money and work.
Speaking of work....
I finally confronted a couple of my coworkers. Cleared it up that I'm not sick like people always think, I'm not a freak, I'm not secretly a quiet time bomb waiting to explode and knife everybody. I'm just shy. Most of them said, "I don't think you're a freak. I think you do just fine." and that's all I've ever wanted to hear anyone say. In school all my life, my teachers either considered me a "genius" that just didn't try, or they thought I was sick and had some freaky dark past, and that I had issues... I was either pitied, or my expectations were set too high. All I've ever wanted to be in someones eyes in a place like school or work is just, equal to everyone else. Work is the first place that has happened. I'm starting to get more used to this.
Sunday, July 17, 2011, 10:20 PM
these are things that I don't understand.
Even though I'm really happy right now and life is great,
I can't help but wish you'd talk to me, so I could tell you all about it.
One of the first things I'm gonna do when I get used to driving is come visit you.
I hate that you live 5 hours way.
Oh well.. Worth the drive. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be where I am now.
I hate that we dry up in conversation.
you're important in my life cause you were there through the worst.
Maybe it's astrology.... Sagittarius.
Thursday, July 7, 2011, 10:01 AM
gag.
I'm so glad Bo and I don't have a disgusting over-obsessive infatuated relationship. lol.
Now that I've gotten over the wreck [I really hope I don't have to go to court], I'll talk about my recent going-ons c:
I went to Sweetwater with Bo recently. Sweetwater is where he lived for a few years quite awhile ago. It's in east Tennessee, in a small valley. It's a tiny rural town no one's ever heard of. It was beautiful and old and I loved it. The air was so clean, it got dreadfully hot during the day [but NO humidity] and very cool at night. Almost like a desert.
When I first met him at Cordova, all he would talk about is Knoxville and Sweetwater, how he wanted to go back and how he hated Memphis for its shitty people and how all the girls are "heartbreakers". lol. I'm glad he didn't leave before he found out how awesome I am C; jkjk. I was glad to go to a place that was so important to him, with him. Chris was there too, Bo's best friend from Knoxville. I didn't take any pictures during the trip, unfortunately... I'm glad Bo's mom did that for me.
Chris stayed with Bo for a month, and after the Sweetwater trip we took him back home. It's gonna be nice having some alone time with Bo again. Anyways, the trip was fun but boring at the same time. Bo's friend bailed out on us and ignored us for 2 days after we asked him to chill with us. So, Bo and Chris got their skateboards, and I rode his aunt's old seafoam green Huffy and we went into town. Such a nice bike <3 I could have ridden it all day. It was comfortable and beautiful and I loved it. The town was amazing, it was like an old, withered, smaller version of Memphis, but it was nice. We rode everywhere, avoiding cars as we went lol. We went to a boat lot, rode around a bank, around thrift stores and gun shops. Everything was CLOSED. It's a small town, so nothing is open very often during the day... It was really weird, but there was no one to yell at us for riding around, so it was aight. c: The view of the mountains in the distance was a bonus. <3 I love his family, no arguing like with mine. Sure they all got really really drunk and bought 14 boxes of pizza, then the next morning bought TONS of Hardee's chicken/sausage/bacon biscuits, but I really like them. I didn't talk much the whole time [that's how I am], but I enjoyed myself.
Now other things....
Today I work 4-9:30, and then I'm going to Bo's. Our 2 year anniversary is tomorrow <3 we're gonna go to TCBY, and then go to the zoo with his friend Tyler and his friend Garrett. I'm NEVER getting in a car with Phillip in the drivers seat again, so Tyler's our new chauffeur ;D jk. But yeah, it'll be fun c: I love the zoo. and I love Bo. Even though he isn't awake yet..
Happy 2 Year <3
Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 1:41 PM
Wreck
Yesterday I got into my first car wreck. It was very very scary.
Phillip was driving. We were on our way to Germantown to see fireworks. I was in the passenger seat, Bo was behind me, next to him was John's skanky girlfriend, and then John. They were all not wearing seatbelts, only me and Phillip were. We were driving down Macon, and he was about to turn left to head northbound on Whitten. It was a yellow light on both ends, and a red VW Jetta was coming straight our way. She had the rightaway, Phillip was supposed to wait for her to pass before he turned, but he was fucking distracted [he always multitasks when he drives] and all I saw was a red car barreling towards us, Bo yelled "PHILLIP!!" and then I heard a crash, tires screeching, and another crash. We got jolted around a little bit. I wanted to start crying. Bo jumped out and ran to see if the driver was okay. Her car had spun out and hit a pole [a tiny Jetta hitting a huge Tahoe going 40 mph, of course that would happen, we hardly budged and none of us were harmed thank God] and the left side of her car was completely dented in, and the left mirror was on the trunk of the car, and the back left wheel had snagged onto the curb and looked bent. Her car was totaled. She was sitting on the grass, crying, thankfully conscious, I don't know if she had any other passengers but if so they weren't hurt. She had a bump on her head and a few scratches on her arm. She claimed to have a piece of glass stuck in her lip, but I didn't see any blood so I doubted it. She went to the hospital just to be safe [I would have, too.] she was scared and crying, but she wasn't angry, she just said "I guess we were both trying to beat the yellow light, and misjudged it." We were there for HOURS. I hope I don't have to go to court with him. His front light got knocked out, the one underneath it was hanging off the bumper, and his bumper had been knocked in and was scraping against his tire. It was undriveable. Ironically, a cop was sitting RIGHT where Phillip was about to turn and saw the whole thing, so we didn't have to call ourselves and wait half an hour for lazy Memphis police. we were lucky he was right there. Bo called an ambulance and eventually everything was worked out. Phillip was at fault, but only got a ticket. I tell ya though, it was a really scary experience. I've never been in a car wreck. I hope the girl will be okay.
