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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Thursday, January 19, 2012, 9:59 PM
You are archetypal
I just worked on a Macbeth project for like 5 hours, only to find out I don't have the vocabulary list, and if I don't have EVERY SINGLE ITEM my teacher is looking for, I get a 0. No partial credit.
So, that just fused with everything that's happening in my life right now and made me utterly depressed.
I can't have a friend in the world right now. I miss Chandler, he's gone and he would know exactly what to tell me right now. I don't get along with females. I can't have any male friends without them liking me, or turning into an asshole, and at that point I don't want anything to do with them. I freaking hate it. I'm tired of guys liking me. I don't get it, I get insulted every day, people say I'm ugly, plain, manly, average, etc. and yet all of these guys that I try to develop a friendship with fall in love with me.
John is such an incredible individual. But since he just realized that I love Bo and I want to continue what I have with him, it's like he doesn't want to be my friend. I'm tired of all this stupid bullcrap, people messing with my head like this. No wonder I'm so confused, and John always asks, "Why?" He asks why I wouldn't consider dating him. Maybe it's because I don't know you. What if you're trying to use me, too? I have someone that loves me, I'm not going to give that up for a pretty face.
John said, "I'll support you no matter what." He's not doing a very good job at supporting me, he constantly brings the subject up and makes me feel bad. I'm stressed out enough. I thought he was my friend. I guess he can't get past all of that stuff.
Subject change.
I've made good friends with Josh, aka "Weird Headphones Kid". He's one of the nicest people I've ever met, ever. I'm gonna be sad when I graduate, he's only a sophomore and I'll probably never see him again lol. That's how it usually goes with school friends, unfortunately.
I asked my mom not to wake me up in the morning, I hope she doesn't. I really don't wanna go to school, I've lost all motivation for any class except AP Art.
Speaking of art, I've begun drawing more lately. I love it....
Goodnight.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012, 5:51 PM
Off work early
I only worked 4-8 today, I haven't worked that shift since I was new at Sonic. They let me off around 6. That makes me really happy, because it's been awhile since I had some free time for myself. My parents are at a basketball game which makes it even better.
Even though today was only my second day back at school I stayed home because I was too tired.... I kind of regret that, but at the same time I don't. I have really bad senioritis.
Today, John surprised me with a visit and a present, which happened to be an Adventure Time hat. :3 That was really cool, and it was good to see him again. He had to leave right after though, which was pretty lame. I just met him and he's already a really good friend and he's about to go into the Navy. :C So freaking lame. Chandler left for Air Force the other day, too. Kari's gonna be going into the military as well. It really sucks, I'm losing so many friends. At least they're happy.
On the opposite side of that, more and more people that used to be really good friends are becoming people I despise. I just seriously can't fathom how rude and stupid some of my old friends have become. I'm not gonna let some two faced egotistical maniacs fool me ever ever again. I'm tired of being framed for things I didn't do, I'm tired of being made the bad guy when I'm CLEARLY not. It's alright because the majority of my friends agree with me. It's funny because all of the people that think they're so "popular" are hated by a bunch of folks. They just have to pretend to like them to avoid drama. Sad, huh?
People have been spreading rumors about me, but that's alright. I'm used to it LOL. I don't wanna be friends with people who believe that bullcrap, anyways. High school is so lame and I'm glad I'm almost done.
All of the people that I know who have already graduated think they're so grown up. Lololol just because you work a lot and pay for stuff doesn't make you an adult. It means you are financially responsible. To be an adult you have to act like one, not a 13 year old bitch. Maturity is becoming a rarer and rarer quality in people and it's beginning to worry me.
Wow, this post is pretty negative. And do I give a fuck? Lol no. I'm so tired of hearing how much I complain. I DON'T CARE. SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS PLANET. I'm sure what I've written above is more interesting than just hearing, "My day was so great, I ate some soup and watched TV. (: then I texted my boyfriend." Face it: Negative shit is more interesting than positive trololol.
