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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Tuesday, March 22, 2016, 7:41 AM
I need to rant
"None of my friends understand my anxiety they are 0 help"
That's because you are spineless. You're the biggest coward I've ever known. You cry that you are anxious about doing this and that, but when people tell you that you have to leave your comfort zone, you just think, "No! I wanna do something where I will be comfortable and calm at all times!"
Guess what? That isn't possible. Even with people who don't have anxiety. You will get nervous, you will get overwhelmed, you will hate it and you will get upset. It's inevitable. It's a part of growing up. You just don't wanna fucking do what you need to do because you're spoiled, lazy, and want everything to be easy. You shut down any time someone tries to give you constructive advice. You want everyone to coddle you and feel sorry for you. Poor, poor Cheltzie. How can you expect others to be able to help you if you don't want to help yourself? You still have the mind of a 14 year old because you expect everyone to be able to do everything for you with no effort from your end. You lack any sort of assertiveness whatsoever, and that will be the downfall of your entire life unless you man up and grow a pair.
What pisses me off the most is that you said I don't help. I risk our friendship trying to feed you truth, and every time I do you denounce me. If we hadn't been friends for so long I would have been done a long time ago. But unfortunately, I'm cursed with caring too much.
