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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Sunday, March 8, 2015, 7:22 PM
The truth is
I know the impact I've had on your life, and that leaves me with a shroud of guilt that does not dissipate. You think that I just threw you away, but every day I wish I could talk to you. Every day I pass by the spot where you sat me down. You put me in that awkward situation and you cried, you left yourself truly vulnerable to me. All your guard was let down, and it was a side of you I was not used to. The irony of the situation was impeccable. Closure was difficult to acquire from you, and sometimes I still feel like I don't have it. To know that I'm banished from your life, to know that one day you won't care if I'm even dead.. It bothers me deeply and I couldn't even tell you why. I wish I could tell you why. I think about you every day. Do not mistake this for romantic feelings. That is a thing of the past... but I still ache deep down, because I want to talk to you. I really want to change your mind about who you think I am. I know I messed up a lot, but if you would just talk to me..
I want peace of mind. This is a boulder of a burden.