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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Sunday, November 25, 2012, 12:45 PM
Downtime and uptime
John has been gone for about 3 weeks and it feels like he was never here. I'm finally rid of his curse on me and I've never felt better. I feel relieved and free. There's still something missing, though... in my wallet. I'm not going to go into that right now though.
I remember being jealous of certain people. I remember wishing I had their lifestyle, their friends, their looks, their thought processes. I wanted to be friends with them so badly, however, I was nothing like them. The thought of having many friends and having fun and being able to post about it on Facebook was great to me. However, now that I have had time to grow and change, I feel almost sorry for them. I don't want friends who like me because I make them look good. People like that only hang out with those who act, think, and look like them. I'm not going to change the way I dress or get piercings or tattoos so I can fit in with "cool people". I'm very grateful for the people in my life because they don't flood me with things like high expectations and social events. They know that is not who I am, and they are okay with that and they still enjoy my company. I think that is what a real friend is.
I've been dating Nick for a few weeks. He's only my third boyfriend. It feels strange dating someone besides Bo, but it's exciting and I like it a lot. He's older [22 to be exact] and I feel like we're on the same mental level. He still lives with his parents, but I don't mind. He's very gentlemanly, smart, and nice. I know he'll make it places one day. He's bipolar though, and it breaks my heart to see him sad. He's sad a lot and has migraines every day. He gets very depressed and sleeps all day long. I wish I could just take it all from him so he wouldn't have to suffer. I worry about him constantly. We haven't been dating for very long, but I already care about him a great deal. It's a lot harder to make him smile when he's sad than it was for Bo. I'm determined to at least take a little bit of the load off of him, though. He's great.
I'm happy.
