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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Sunday, September 2, 2012, 7:46 PM
My tolerance for people
.... is at an all time low.
Maybe this is something I say a lot. I don't really even know anymore. Apparently I do and say all these terribly annoying things that gets on peoples' nerves. To be completely honest it is going right over my head. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. But I always repel people out of my life. Always. It's absolutely inevitable and it has happened with every person I've ever come in contact with. What baffles me is, if I'm so annoying why don't people tell me what is wrong? Why do they post subliminal things that are directed towards me but not say anything to my face? I can't fix myself unless I know what's wrong with me. Maybe there is nothing wrong with me and I'm just imagining things. Maybe I'm going crazy. I don't really know. But it looks like people are creeping their way out of my life... and I really don't know why.
I know I complain a lot. I know I'm quiet and awkward. I don't socialize and it can make people uncomfortable or feel like I am unfriendly. I've come to terms with this. I know I make big deals out of small things. I know I let my emotions get the best of me. I know I'm paranoid, I know I'm accusatory, I know I'm irrational most of the time. It's hard to change. Especially when everyone is in a rush to get rid of you. I think I'm just going to start keeping my mouth shut altogether. I really think I'm going crazy. The stress is getting to me.
I need my best friend