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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Wednesday, September 5, 2012, 10:29 PM
Don't know what to think
People tell me one thing and then do the opposite. People always accuse me of doing things that I didn't do. I feel like all of the people that used to be my "friends" are mad at me now. None of them talk to me, or acknowledge me in a positive way when I try to talk to them, or try to hang out with me like they used to. I dunno what I did or if it even has anything to do with me, but whatever the reason, it's probably juvenile.
I told John the truth about everything and he forgave me. Do you know how happy that makes me? That John, a "typical pretentious asshole" in the eyes of everyone, can forgive me. We decided to start over and not worry about dating or anything. It's a nice feeling. It's nice that there are still people out there who can be a true friend. :) I really care about John, so I'm glad I didn't lose him in the end.
I'm trying to keep a more positive, calm mindset. I'm going to try to not let peoples' words get to me. I've been really bitter and angry lately, and it isn't working, so I'm gonna try to start being more humble about everything. No more angry posts, no more assumptions, just riding the wave of life and seeing where it takes me as long as I try to keep everything steady in my life. I've had enough of drama and it's time to put it to rest.
I found out that the Hobby Lobby next to my house is hiring full time for $13 an hour. I'd really love to get that job. I'm going to apply there as soon as we finally get a car.... but I'm not going to go into our bad financial situation right now.
Life was plummeting into the deep end, and now that I've gotten through the worst of it, time to start ascending back up to happiness :)
