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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Thursday, January 19, 2012, 9:59 PM
You are archetypal
I just worked on a Macbeth project for like 5 hours, only to find out I don't have the vocabulary list, and if I don't have EVERY SINGLE ITEM my teacher is looking for, I get a 0. No partial credit.
So, that just fused with everything that's happening in my life right now and made me utterly depressed.
I can't have a friend in the world right now. I miss Chandler, he's gone and he would know exactly what to tell me right now. I don't get along with females. I can't have any male friends without them liking me, or turning into an asshole, and at that point I don't want anything to do with them. I freaking hate it. I'm tired of guys liking me. I don't get it, I get insulted every day, people say I'm ugly, plain, manly, average, etc. and yet all of these guys that I try to develop a friendship with fall in love with me.
John is such an incredible individual. But since he just realized that I love Bo and I want to continue what I have with him, it's like he doesn't want to be my friend. I'm tired of all this stupid bullcrap, people messing with my head like this. No wonder I'm so confused, and John always asks, "Why?" He asks why I wouldn't consider dating him. Maybe it's because I don't know you. What if you're trying to use me, too? I have someone that loves me, I'm not going to give that up for a pretty face.
John said, "I'll support you no matter what." He's not doing a very good job at supporting me, he constantly brings the subject up and makes me feel bad. I'm stressed out enough. I thought he was my friend. I guess he can't get past all of that stuff.
Subject change.
I've made good friends with Josh, aka "Weird Headphones Kid". He's one of the nicest people I've ever met, ever. I'm gonna be sad when I graduate, he's only a sophomore and I'll probably never see him again lol. That's how it usually goes with school friends, unfortunately.
I asked my mom not to wake me up in the morning, I hope she doesn't. I really don't wanna go to school, I've lost all motivation for any class except AP Art.
Speaking of art, I've begun drawing more lately. I love it....
Goodnight.
