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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Thursday, December 15, 2011, 9:48 PM
Why do people pick on me?
All my life, all I try to do is be caring, honest, and decent. There are a lot of things I hate, yes. But everyone has stuff they hate. Hating stuff spurs interesting conversation and brings people together. And then people go and preach to "stop the hating". Why is this world so hypocritical?
I don't know who to call my real friends anymore. I can't confide in anyone anymore. Everyone ends up telling the whole damn world about my personal business. People are allowed to treat me like a dog but if I do the same to them, it's like I just buttraped all that is considered good. I am supposedly a self-contradictory whiny bitch, just for telling the truth.
People like to deny the truth. The truth is all I believe in. Everyone should be honest. But what's right is usually mean and hurtful, so no one likes to hear it. Everyone these days would rather hear lies than hear the disgusting truth about themselves.
Even if someone is shitty, if they can at least admit it, I have respect for them.
I'm a hypocrite, I do complain a lot, I do hate a lot more than I like. But come on, what IS there to like about this current era? It's repulsive. It's full of liars and cheaters and whores, humanity is becoming shit right before my very eyes.
On a more positive note, I've gotten some new friends. My two most prominent are Josh and John. I'm surprised I've gotten as close to Josh as I have, he used to be "weird headphones kid" but he's a really nice person. He's not afraid to embarrass himself publicly and it's so funny and I like that about him. John is a very decent guy and I was pleased as I got to know him better. He's really respectful and funny [and a very successful troll lololol]. I've also gotten on very good terms with Lyn. She's really cool to talk to, it's nice talking to a female for once. I have too many guy friends.
I've also lost some friends, and I don't want to go there.
I can't wait to see Noel again at MTAC. It's so interesting to see how we have both changed every year. I really hope he can come to my graduation, as well. It would mean the world to me. It's so great seeing him happy, after he was depressed for so long. He's happy making sushi and that makes me happy.
4 more months <3
