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welcome
I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Wednesday, September 28, 2011, 7:39 PM
Drying up in conversation
I can't see you next year, it isn't fair. Nothing is really fair in my life anymore, my friends aren't fair, my family isn't fair, everyone fails to see my flaws and the stress I experience every day, which is usually petty stuff like loneliness.
I wonder every day why I constantly hear about the dislike other people have for me, and yet those people themselves never say anything to me. I miss your guidance, I was almost there, I was approaching cloud 9 and I was so close to understanding everything and achieving perpetual happiness.
I also wonder every day why these people at school are trying to be my friend. Since when do people want to do that? My life at school is usually spent alone. At work I've grown comfortable with quite a few people, but school has always been a struggle for me. And there's a reason beneath it all, I'll never see it because it's right under my nose.
I want to start practicing meditation, I need to look inside myself and I need to get out of this cocoon. I'm so close. but I can't do it without friends
