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I'm Amy. I'm growing up. And this is my past, present, and future.
I know you'll come in the night like a thief.
But I’ve had some time alone to hone my lying technique.
I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.
But I’m scared I’ll get scared and I swear I’ll try to nail you back up.
So do you think that we could work out a psalm?
So I’ll know it's you and that it's over so I won't even try.
I know you'll come for the people like me.
But we all got wood and nails,
And talk dirt at hating factories.
profile
My name is Amy. I'm a Gemini. I'm 25 years old. I'm a struggling artist, and an overly opinionated martyr of my beliefs. My past experiences, no matter how petty or dramatic they were, molded me into who I am today. I'm still changing every day.
I'm an artist. I love to draw and make things in photoshop [such as this blogger layout]. I also love music; I dabble in piano a little bit. I only know how to play other songs, of course. Nothing original. I like to write as well. Pretty much anything that involves the arts is something I enjoy doing. It gets me through the day and gives me a chance to express myself.
I have many friends who have come and gone, some who are even enemies now. Regardless, they've taught me a lot. I've learned to be more humble, tolerant, and kind, but also I've learned things like never to trust anyone completely off the bat, and to usually expect the worst. I'm generally pretty pessimistic and I think irrationally, but that's a nasty habit I'm trying to break. My intentions are good. That's something I must always remind myself and everyone else of. I have anxiety but I'm learning to control it better every day. This time a year ago it was impossible for me to socialize, but nowadays it's easier. Time mends everything.
I'm not really good at these self-describing things anymore. If you want to know me, ask me yourself. :3
Thursday, October 29, 2009, 8:49 PM
expect the unexpected?
today the person I thought was least likely to help me, helped me. It was nice to have someone else say something for once instead of me doing it all myself. Maybe I took all the people over there the wrong way. Maybe they really do see good in us, and maybe they really are looking out to keep us strong as possible.
If you don't understand what I'm talking about... good. you're not supposed to. (:
I just feel weird lately. I'm not going to brag about being happy, and I'm not going to complain about being sad. I'm trying to let things restore to the way they were. So I'm just not going to say anything about anything at all. I am going to say, though, that I hope this weekend will be as fun as I'm planning on it being. I could really use a good time for once this school year. lol.
Isn't it funny how old things will bother the hell out of you? Like, my ex boyfriend, he pays so much attention to his new girlfriend, not anything like he did with me. I don't understand. I dealt with his shit for 11 months, only to find out I meant nothing? I really hate that. I went through so much with him and his family, and they kinda don't care anymore. whatever. I don't care. He'll regret the way he treated me one day. I just kindof hate how much it makes me mad, especially when I see her in the hallways, I'm just like, ugg, why do you get the treatment I wanted so badly and you don't even have to try?
I don't like him anymore. Hell no. I just really hate that it meant nothing to him, just because something silly happened. That also pisses me off, people were telling me today that I still liked him. Just... ew.
I am quite nostalgic of his family, however. I miss them so, so, so, so much. I miss my second mom and my second sisters and my whole entire second family. I love them and I'm sorry if I made them mad.
Anyways, enough of the depressing stuff. I will get by this fall and winter fine, hopefully. No more nostalgia. I just need to have fun.
I am exhausted, and am going to go to bed. Night.
toodles
♥ ameh
